· 8 min read

The Birthday Illusion

philosophy random

Hello fellow lifeforms, I hope y'all are doing well. I'm writing this article to highlight how we are gaslit by birthdays.

The Background

We all celebrate our birthday once a year, right? I mean, even if we don't party, we do observe them, even if it's merely for a fake smile and a fake "happy birthday" from a random acquaintance.

But have you ever wondered why we do this? I mean, we're just celebrating the fact that we're alive, which is something we do every day. So why do we make a big deal out of it once a year? (People born on leap year days, don't get triggered, you guys even get a free shoutout. Just let me know if you guys exist!)

The Illusion

When it comes to birthdays, most of us have a misconception: that at this exact time, this exact moment, and this exact position in the 3D universe, we share some kind of similarity with our actual birthday. Let's uncover what's really happening.

Relation to the Time of Our Birthday

One might argue that they were born on, let's say, 1st Jan 2000, and when we observe a new year like in 2026, they might think that this event has cycled exactly 26 times, so it must be tied to this exact day.

However, in reality, we have multiple calendars: the Gregorian calendar, the Hindu calendar, the Chinese lunar calendar, and many more around the world that I currently don't remember. If we were to mark our date of birth in all these different calendars and come back to check them after a year, they'd most probably differ, sometimes by days or even weeks.

Here's the nerdy part: our solar day is approximately 24 hours, but a full year is 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes, and 46 seconds (I did not look it up on Google, NERD detected). Did you notice that? The calendar slowly loses its accuracy and drifts away from the exact astronomical moment of our birth. That extra ~6 hours per year? It piles up. Leap years try to patch it, but it's never truly exact.

The Brutal Truth

Let's say even if all those deductions are wrong and I yapped for nothing, how about this?

To a techie, birthdays are like a major version upgrade. Like, Fisholophy v1.0 would mean the birth of Fisholophy. v2.0 would be another upgrade where we'd introduce some enhancements, something's gotta get better as it progresses. It only makes sense this way, right?

The Question

How about us, humans? Do we improve ourselves on our birthdays? Do we upgrade ourselves? We do like to click some photos and post them on social media, but that makes little to no sense. That does not count.

The Problem

I'm sure many of you have already noticed that while birthdays are good occasions to observe, some people would rather avoid them because of the problems they bring. You do nothing, a year passes, now it's your birthday, and your friends are expecting a party. You just grew older and went closer to death, but your friends are happy about it, and they want a party now.

Are you cooked? Well, no (not yet). They're nice enough to bring presents to the party, but that just gives birth to a new paradox: the Gift Paradox.

Whatever they give you this year, you remember it, and you try to give them an equivalent gift on their birthday. But in all these exchanges, neither of you is truly benefitting because we have horrible knowledge of what the other person really wants, and we have a habit of saving our braincells by buying generic gifts.

This right here is a business scheme. Flowers that people don't, or can't, even take a smell of, because they're plastic. That's basically useless. But guess what? A significant chunk of the population thinks it's the main part of the gift. Both parties lose money, while the third party, the gift store guys, be printing money off of your feelings and innocence.

Sheldon also added: let's say I give you a gift of approx 50 bucks this year, and now you're somewhat indebted to gift me something of around that value on my next birthday. But what if you move away, or can't come to the party, or die? I'll be in loss, my 50 bucks ain't coming back (financially and emotionally lol).

Disclaimer: obviously I'm kidding, but this exaggeration is for the sake of mere emphasis.

The Solution

Now that we've understood all of that: the day isn't special in any real way. The revolution of Earth isn't accurate enough for calendars to pin down perfectly. As years pass, leap years and extra hours pile up. The calendar can jump back, but the actual Earth can't. The position of Earth has already slipped away from where it was when you were born. On top of that, the Sun itself revolves around the galactic center, so we're always moving farther from the origin of ourselves.

Also, the calendar thing; they're just not accurate, and they themselves have conflicts with each other. Add to that our nature of making no upgrades or updates on our birthday, and it all leads to one conclusion:

"Technically, birthdays don't make sense. Or at least, not as much sense as we expect."

- Fisholophy

The Conundrum

So birthdays are nothing?

The Conclusion

While birthdays don't make much sense from a technical perspective, they are necessary from an emotional one. Kids get a day off, and it's valuable to those innocent little ones. I'm not sure if it brings as much to grown-ups, but it kinda helps them remember each other's existence, after social media tries to remind us from time to time. Hehehe.

The Suggestions

How to make birthdays better? More valuable? Here are some thoughts:

That's a wrap on the Birthday Illusion. If you made it this far, I genuinely appreciate your time and patience; it means more than you think. Feel free to check out the other writings if you haven't already, or come back later when there's something new cooking.

Thank you so much for reading and visiting. Your support keeps this corner of the internet alive. Until next time, stay curious, stay kind, and don't stress too much about birthdays. If you want to add something, feel free to send a message here.

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